Wunjo Meditation

(Content Warning: This is an older blog entry and contains references to Harry Potter fandom stuff. It was written in 2016 with references to events in 2014. I do not support the author's current horrid campaigns.) 

Joy. Light. Fulfillment. Completion or feeling complete or content.

For Wunjo, we're going to break the forth wall a bit, because in some respects it ties very well into an experience this author has had which most, fortunately, never do: Homelessness.

To clarify, this is NOT going to be the kind of “It could have been worse!” post the internet loves to hate, where someone makes you feel like your problems aren't real if you're not starving on the street. That is not my intent at all.

I was a full time student in college who had exhausted their loans and had to choose between rent and tuition. There was no way in Midgard I was going to make such an investment of time, debt, and work, let alone be able to pay it back, without getting that piece of paper. I'll always remember one particular night – being outside at 5AM, in the snow, praying the doors to the next warm place would be open. Looking at the stars, and the light reflecting off of snow and ice, but hungry and very cold in the 0*F weather, I was just content to be breathing, surrounded by beauty that was also very, very harsh.

It was the little things that got me through that time. On a different evening, I found a study cubicle, took off the Harry Potter scarf (which I'd been using both for warmth and a mood boost), and proceeded to “decorate” my cubicle with said scarf, laying a few herb bundles I'd been given on top of a corner of it, with a few oils (since I couldn't leave them to freeze, they came with me in my backpack at all times), stacks of books, and a tarot deck. I got, perhaps, a bit too comfortable for public, even though this was a back corner at 11PM, taking off shoes and socks, and giving my tired feet a massage. Since I was in public so much, with no real privacy, being barefoot was a luxury. Tending to how sore I had been, between that and my growing arthritis, made me feel... human. Cared for... Even if it was just self care. And with my little decor job it was, sort of, an attempt to bring “home” with me wherever I went.

The thought process that formed much of my basic awareness during this time was one of mindful evaluation. Time seemed to stretch longer when, even for someone without much routine, I lost what little I had. I realized that I needed to evaluate my needs, and carve out my own space. I looked hard at what was “enough.” At some point, I literally rewrote my definition of happiness:

~*~*~*~*~

Defining Happiness

Unfortunately, those studies about happiness not being based on money say "beyond having basic needs met..." Money and stuff don't affect happiness. [I was referencing: https://www.princeton.edu/~deaton/downloads/deaton_kahneman_high_income_improves_evaluation_August2010.pdf , more or less.]

So I will define happiness as being warm, having clean water, having clean clothes, having showered within the last few days, and having had at least one light and one moderate meal unless I'm on a day of religious fasting, having had at least five hours of sleep, and having spent at least one hour of my day playing a game, reading a book with a plot, or making something - whether that is knitting, or writing a ritual or something theological, etc.

Bonus points if I got in some meditation time and/or didn't experience any major physical pain in getting around.

Super bonus if I have an organized to-do list. ;-)

~*~*~*~*~

Most days and nights, I came nowhere close to that. Still, it gave me something concrete, and sometimes helped me spell out for myself and others reasons why I was unhappy or irritable, which in turned help me try to address the problems or opt to take a nap, if I could, instead of snapping at people.

One small exercise I've used is a journaling question that, I admit, was inspired by a tweet made by the Pottermore account some years ago. “What would be in your Room of Requirement today?” At first, I list the ideal – other living beings aside, what would help me accomplish whatever goals or tasks I need to do that day? Then I bring it down to what's available, what's there that could fill the same need. If I can't have cider, at least I have water or tea. If I really needed caffeine, I'd get a $1 black coffee, or some cheap instant espresso mix. If I can't have a fireplace to write by, I can wrap myself in a blanket with a fireplace video while I draft in a paper notebook. It also helped to remember past times where I got whatever it was I wanted and wasn't any happier or more content. I substituted things, and I did my best to make certain the actual need, including an occasional need for aesthetic beauty to soothe the mind and soul, was met. I also did my best to find reasons to laugh, even if I had to look a little harder for them sometimes. It got easier, with practice.

The important bit was that I was taking the time to listen to what I actually needed, and reassure myself that I was meeting those needs as best I could. Similar to the Room of Requirement exercise above, if something is really bothering you, it helps to look more closely at what you can do, and less at what you cannot. If you can't do this, there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone can, and I strongly recommend talking to a therapist if you are having issues with depression in particular. But it is worth trying!

In the end, this is part of what Wunjo is about. Sometimes the fulfillment, joy, or contentment comes because everything is going well. Wunjo applies the most, in that case, if things went well precisely Because you worked with circumstances, not against them, to achieve that positive outcome. However, it can also apply to working with your circumstances even when things go poorly - a rune not just for standing in the light of joy, but kindling your own, like a need-fire, in the darkest of nights.