Gebo Meditation

A gift. A mercy. Hospitality. One good turn – or unearned boon – deserves another.

“A gift for a gift” says Havamal. Accepting a gift is also a social obligation to give something in return – whether to give back to the gods from one's bounty, to give bounty to the gods in exchange for a new boon, to exchange gifts with friends or neighbors, or even to accept a gift of mercy or charity with the understanding that you must someday “pay it forward” when you can.

In other words, accepting a gift pledges a troth. Forging alliances – whether accepting an oath ring or a wedding ring – is a strong example. So, too, is the notion of basic cooperation. If one person has a bit of a green thumb and can grow food, and another is a skilled tailor, they do better communally than if one person had to handle both tasks. I benefit from the things you can do which I cannot, as you do from my skills. There is progress in forming such human networks that would not be possible otherwise.

It is likewise true with the gods, the wights, and other beings. Several times, most notably in exchanging hostages after the Aesir – Vanir War, the gods have shown that they too are bound by these social contracts – though some have wondered if Hoenir and Mimir really was a fair trade for Njord, Freyr, and Kvasir (some suggest that Freya went voluntarily and was not part of the deal), especially once Mimir died. But then, some may also wonder what we could offer the gods. Is the exchange truly fair? But what is fair in such a case? But consider: Mere water seems a small thing compared to gold and silver and technology and cures for illness, but liquid silver, so far as we know, will not sustain life. Even in human history, there have been periods where the people described themselves as having “plenty of gold, but going without bread.” Though the gods can certainly find their own way to intervene in our world, the simplest way is often through us. Perhaps this is enough, or perhaps they merely like the taste of human brewed mead more than their own, much as many Americans prefer a German or Irish imported beer if they can get it. It is not our place to ask why whatever we can give has meaning to such beings – only to trust and respect that, somehow, whatever we can offer is of worth.

Relationships with deities and with other humans should be healthy ones, however. One has a choice of obligations, of where to spend one's energies. Sometimes one must also let go – whether of a grudge, or of deciding when a task or project has been accomplished “well enough” and further effort would be wasted. This is especially true if one is trying to fulfill ones obligations without creating new ones. The best place in the cycle, perhaps, at least in this cultural framework, to leave such things is to turn down an offer, boon, gift, or opportunity from the gods, or from other people. Just as one does not need to attend every college one gets into, one does not need to oblige themselves to every deity at once.

This also involves knowing when one needs to push oneself, to make sacrifices in order to achieve something greater for themselves or their communities, like a scientist sacrificing sleep to find a cure on a timetable... and when one is unnecessarily over-obligated and needs to say no. One owes it to oneself to take care of themselves, but also to know when there is a need to be pushed past current limits. There is a time and place to drop all excuses, to run “full burn,” to sacrifice for the sake of wisdom and community, and there is also a time and place to say no. By learning this balance, it becomes possible to begin to make decisions that allows for growth into one's best self.