This is an SCA thing, and I am not an SCA member, but ever since Odin's Gift went down, I couldn't find this anywhere. It's closer to Marvel than actual Norse Myth,but googling it I couldn't even find it with the author attributed. I think I might have added the A on Hel's name to distinguish from Hell for any Christian readers, but this is otherwise as written. If there's some SCA place I can just link here, let me know.
A
Viking Christmas Carol
\original lyrics Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863)
'Twas
the night before Christmas and all through the Hall
Not a creature
was stirring, not warrior nor thrall.
And I in my armor, my shield
and my helm
Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.
I
staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead
were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a
brawl
So I grabbed up my axe and ran down to the Hall.
I missed the last step and crashed down in a heap
Thinking, "Why
can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep!"
When what to
my wondering eyes should appear
But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.
I said to myself, "We'll soon have them
beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I
gave out a yell and leapt into the fray...
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.
For the one laid his hammer to the
side of my nose
And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came
a lone frightened voice from the floor,
"Those are no mortal
warriors -- that's Odin and Thor!"
Then they looked at
each other and they said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who
we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer,
and his elbow he bent,
And with a loud crash, through the ceiling
they went.
I crawled through the Hall and flung open the
door,
Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow
bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede,
I
saw them ride off on
an eight-legged steed.
And I heard them exclaim, 'ere they
flew out of sight,
"
TO HELA WITH CHRISTMAS, WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!"
© Guy L Bradley aka Sir Cipriano d'Alvarez, SCA
